Many adults in the UK are underestimating the risk posed by former partners in cases of abuse, according to new findings from Refuge.
Data from the charity’s helpline shows that 42 per cent of callers identify a former partner as their abuser, highlighting how abuse frequently continues even after a relationship has ended.
Despite this, wider survey data suggests a significant gap in public understanding. Research conducted by YouGov found that while 71 per cent of adults recognise women are most likely to be abused by someone they know, only 12 per cent identified an ex-partner as the most likely perpetrator. In contrast, 78 per cent pointed to a current partner.
The findings point to a widespread underestimation of post-separation abuse, which can include stalking, harassment and coercive control.
A survivor identified as Sasha described ongoing harassment from her former partner following their separation in 2012. She said he would “still show up unannounced, demand to be let in and insist on seeing my son”.
Even after relocating, she said the stalking continued. At one point, her ex-partner used metadata from photos she had sent to track down her new address.
“He’s white British, and I’m of Jamaican heritage, so going to carnival with my family was a big deal – it’s a way of celebrating who I am and making sure my son connects with his heritage,” Sasha said. “For him to weaponise those events was incredibly difficult and eventually made me stop going.”
She added that a turning point came when her ex-partner made threats of suicide, saying it would be her fault. “He was laughing – he thought it was funny that I believed he would actually hurt himself.”
Post-separation abuse has been recognised in law in England and Wales through the Domestic Abuse Act 2021, which criminalised coercive and controlling behaviour after a relationship ends, coming into force in April 2023.
However, experts warn that awareness and enforcement still lag behind.
Charlotte Eastop, senior operations manager at Refuge, said: “It’s extremely prevalent and I don’t think it’s recognised [to be] as much of an issue as it actually is.”
She added that abusers often use children or legal processes to maintain control, including manipulating court arrangements or creating ongoing disruption in victims’ lives.
“Police might respond and say: ‘Look, he just wants to see the kids’, not recognising the threat there,” she said, warning that cases are sometimes wrongly treated as historical rather than ongoing abuse.
Eastop stressed that more training is needed for police and the judiciary to properly identify and respond to post-separation abuse.
“Separation is a really dangerous time in terms of escalation risk,” she said. “It’s about the police understanding the risk and ongoing impacts.”
The findings underline growing concern that abuse by former partners remains both widespread and insufficiently recognised, leaving many victims without the support and protection they need.